Post-tour thoughts...

This is more of a journal entry than anything "creative," but it's about a significant part of my life recently and I thought it was worth posting here as well. Plus, I just spent, like, two hours writing it and I want to get some use out of it...



Tour has been over for more than a week, but my mind's been everywhere and there's been a lot of shit to do, so I haven't had the chance to write anything resembling a real end-of-tour reflection entry. I know this is late and I doubt anyone is keeping up with tour blog since tour is now over...and maybe that's why I feel most comfortable writing it now.

Maybe I'll get bold and re-post it in my LiveJournal where a grand total of five people might bother to read it.

Anyway, as crazy as it was, the couple weeks Jess, Catherine, and I spent travelling the east coast to hang out and watch some dudes play guitar will always be remembered as one of the more perfect experiences of my life. (Jon and Jenny, of course, were also important players on this tour, but it was the three of us at the start - both in Buffalo in March and, more recently, in Cambridge - and the three of us at the end in Ohio.) We succeeded in attending twelve shows in eleven states over seventeen days. Aircraft. Rental car. Karaoke. No major catastrophes. With the exception a few sleepless nights, it really couldn't have gotten much better.

This was something that I needed and now that it's over, I must admit to feeling sort of...lost. This tour was something Kevin mentioned to us back in April and we began planning for it and getting excited for it at that exact moment. I miss having a place to go every night with some of my closest friends and getting that release. I miss seeing these two guys I've respected since I was in high school play around every night, having a great time, and knowing I was a part of it. And they really did make us feel a part of it. They all made us feel welcomed...even Jameson once Catherine broke the ice! It seemed, though, that Kevin and Jesse both understood that this was important to us...even if they couldn't totally grasp why.

I worried that they would all get tired of us or just think we were creepy, but that ended up being a senseless worry, as Kevin and Jesse both assured us of as early on as the Maxwell's show. Although, because I'm me, I'm still going to worry about it, but maybe that's what'll prevent me from ever crossing that boundary that Jesse spoke so knowledgeably about. I've grown pretty comfortable around Kevin and he's making it hard for me to feel like he doesn't like us around...so maybe this tour really did help me get over something. Even Jesse, though, separated what we did from the creepy things other people have done and I guess hearing it from him almost meant more than hearing it from Kevin. "I think you're crazy, not creepy!" Jesse explained. Haha...and I think that's pretty accurate!

Jesse knows we're Kevin, too, and that's awesome (...austin?). It seems to make him pretty happy seeing people getting as into Kevin's music as they get into his own. As embarrassed as - maybe - I should have been in Chapel Hill when Jesse watched us freaking out as Kevin played "The Longer That I'm Out Here," he was smiling right at me as Jenny hugged me and I knew that he knew we got it...so I didn't care if it was a total geek moment. Jesse still intimidates me so I was actually sort of proud of myself for making eye contact with him, mid Kevin freakout, for as long as I did and not forcing myself to calm down. I love that Goddamn song. What can I say!? And it sounded really fucking perfect that night.

These writers and their songs have helped me more than any journal entry I've ever written. Through whatever I was dealing with - as early as my sophomore or junior year of high school - I've had Jesse's or Kevin's words there to help pick me up. I guess Kevin's music, in Brand New's absence, ended up becoming closer to me, but that isn't to say at all that Jesse's writing doesn't touch me...because it certainly does. We all have our reasons for listening to the bands we listen to. We all have a need to get something inside us out. A lot of people never get lucky enough to even meet the people who inspire them the most. Not only am I lucky enough to have met Kevin and Jesse, I'm lucky enough to know them, at least to a certain extent. They recognize us and talk to us. They seem to know we're on their side and that we have no other agenda than to listen, take in, and enjoy their music.

And, yeah, Jesse...I knew Mike Strandberg before you knew Mike Strandberg. Now what!!?? Haha.

There are so many highlights and so many crazy stories that will never translate well out of context, but we'll have them in our memories forever and while that's not quite as good as living in those moments forever, it'll have to do. I don't want to think too far in the future. I know I probably don't have too many more years where I can drop everything and run around following a tour, so I'm really glad I had this chance. This could be it. I'm going to get the most out of the time I've got left before real life forces me to stop or, at least, slow down.

To be completely honest, it didn't hit me that tour was over until several days after it ended. We had Kevin and the Goddamn Band on a boat and two dates of the Colour Revolt / Manchester Orchestra tour. Granted, Brand New was missing from this week, but it almost felt like we were still on tour. Kevin on a boat was fucking amazing and had there not been any bros there, it would have been absolutely perfect. I mean, there were a bunch of creeps there, but there were enough legitimate Kevin fans there to counteract them. I just really didn't appreciate these white collar dudes acting like they know something about Kevin Devine, getting trashing, and then being disruptive. Whatever, though. Fuck those kids. It was the perfect night to be on a boat, too. It was beautiful out. I was really sad when it was over because I have no idea the next time we'll see Kevin play with the band. I love Kevin solo, of course, but I just had twelve shows of him solo...I'm ready to see full band. They played for a long time, but it didn't feel like it. It was perfect...another moment I wished I could have lived in forever.

Colour Revolt / Manchester at North Star Bar in Philly was fantastic. Jess and I got to talk to Andy Hull for about half an hour before the show. (Catherine, you'll be glad to know the beard is in full effect!) He saw us walking out of the little bar area...which we're old enough to go into while he's not. Haha. We talked to him about the KD/JTL tour and other things. He made me cry when he justified our craziness by saying, "But you guys do it for the music." We were talking, I guess, about Brand New and the motives of some fans. The show was great, but Jesse Revolt was really sick so Colour Revolt only played four songs. Manchester played everything off their full length except "The Neighborhood Is Bleeding." Andy opened with that song we thought was a new jam at Highline, but is apparently and old, unreleased jam. He also played a Right Away, Great Captain! song. The crowd was amazing. I cried a lot...mostly during "Where Have You Been?" I can still see various Brand New members and various Goddamn Band members on stage with them, but Andy's intensity gives me goosebumps independent of Brand New or Kevin. I bought a Manchester hoodie...and it has replaced my Core hoodie. At least, for now. ;)

Colour Revolt / Manchester at Knitting Factory was good, but I got more out of the Philly show. The crowd in Philly, I thought, was very respectful. They knew when to jam and when to be quiet. There was another bro-invasion at the Knitting Factory. There was an opener called The Jones Street Boys and they were AMAZING. Seriously. Amazing. They were a folky kind of band: harmonica, accordion, mandolin, upright bass...the works. They did their last song unplugged, just standing at the edge of the stage and the crowd was pretty receptive for them. They played pre-bro-invasion. I really liked them, so: www.myspace.com/thejonesstreetboys. Check em out. Unwed Sailor played. They played in Philly too, but we didn't really catch them. They're instrumental and it's pretty, but...I don't think I get it. Jesse Revolt must have been feeling better because I was feeling Colour Revolt. They played a longer set which included: "Mattresses Underwater," "Our Homes Are Graves," AND "Circus!" He was still sick, but he was obviously feeling better than he had the night before. He was moving around more and talking. I mean, he played "Circus," so his throat must have been feel a little better! Manchester did the same set they'd done the night before...with some help from other drummers (ex: Skinner) on "Where Have You Been?" It was really good, but I didn't feel them as much that night as I had the night before in Philly. I think that was due to the bros moshing during "Wolves At Night." Yep...I said moshing. :/

When it ended, though, I realized I was hugging Jon. And that's exactly how I ended the Manchester / Kevin / Brand New tour in Philly back in April. That's when I realized it was over. That's when my sadness turned into a pretty nice depression.

And then I sat in gum, which pissed me off.

So, I was in a very foul mood. I came home, still feeling like shit. I got in bed and had a headphone session with "The Devil And God Are Raging Inside Me" and I fell asleep feeling slightly better.

I don't know. I love my bands and I feel good when I'm at shows supporting the bands whose songs make me feel something. Furthermore, I'm sad when those bands aren't around...and even sadder when I'm not sure when they will be around. But, for now anyway, I know we have Kevin solo on September 6th, Brand New on September 8th, and Manchester on September 18th. I can deal with not knowing my next Colour Revolt so long as that means they're recording a full length! Jesse Revolt says they'll be around for CMJ in October, though. They better be. <3

This entry is really long. A lot longer than I'd intended to make it. Sorry.