Back

There's dust and a haze
I get lost in these days.
The shadows are too thick
so I lose you when I blink,
search through the muck.
Why should I give a fuck?
I say it's just a phase
I get lost in some days.
I wander around an empty house
behind the ghost of a lost spouse
who was never really mine;
I was yours to pass the time.
It's just your gaze
I get lost in most days.
A song sings through
the walls of my room.
The needle is dirty,
but the record keeps turning.
Your words and your ways
I get lost in nowadays.
A slip of the tongue
and all hell has begun.
And I just want to go back.
I just want to go back.



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"It's seven-thirty. I can smell the candles burning. I could go to sleep now. I'll just wait till morning when the melodies come and sing me stories. All the birds that can talk; no, they're never boring..." Wild Sweet Orange House Of Regret

"In the shadows buried in me lies a child's toy..." Sunny Day Real Estate Shadows

Falling

It's something in the inside
and I don't have words to write it out:
misleading and misunderstanding,
speaks in tongues and scribbles.
Peeling out from behind
a weak and weathered mind,
it's misshapen and mistaken;
and it was never quite right.
Just like us.
It boroughs back
into it's shell:
cozy and cold,
falling into the comfort
and complacency
of normalcy and patterns,
of admiring from afar.
Teeth, like bars, hold back,
a trap,
a language barrier we built
and never broke:
silence,
in which so much is said,
but every word misheard,
indiscernible.
So, in your face,
I read a warning;
it tells me:
stay away.
Another step farther
and I won't see anymore;
I'll just fall away
while falling harder.
Because I want to know
your song
and your smile
and every inch.
But that's not what I say,
only what I mean
and I fall behind the horizon,
so I'll always be falling.

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"With your head up high, would you try? 'Cause you're the only one to pull me through - it's true - and it seems a waste of time to grow old alone; we've been dyin' since the day we fell apart..." The New Frontiers The Day You Fell Apart

"Shivering cold, I woke up in water and wrapped myself around the toilet seat. I spoke in tongues and took all my clothes off. The tops of my fingers touched the tops of my toes..." Wild Sweet Orange Ten Dead Dogs

"I got this delicate lisp that speaks in tongues and upper lips. Your silhouette's my favorite. I'm not letting go of it..." Northstar Pollyanna

XO

Clear your mind.
Pass the time.
It's late,
but it's so crowded.
Listen to a voice
through the headphones.
You can turn him up louder
than the noise in your head.
The sky is falling,
but who's to notice.
Each dying star
unseen or forgotten.
It's all the same to you,
another sign of destruction.
A hand to warm your shoulder:
placed there by a dead man.
His visage would startle you
if you weren't expecting him.
His voice sings and sooths,
but you'll never know him now.
And the pain,
like that of not knowing God,
aches in a place you didn't know existed
and makes your skin burn inside to out.
You reach,
but the hand is gone.
No remnants to grab.
No warmth to calm.
To honor his words, I vow,
and I'm gonna love him anyhow.

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This came out of nowhere, but it happened last night. Not shitting you.




"What I used to be will pass away and then you'll see that all I want now is happiness for you and me..." Elliott Smith Happiness

In Mirrors

In mirrors, there's a shine,
but not in mine.
It's stale and bitter
and looks like me.
A glare, a dagger,
a meaningless mess,
a tie untied,
and a secret to confess:
avert your eyes
so you can ignore the rest.

I felt it in your glance
and saw it in your fingers.
I tasted it in your voice
before you went silent.
It was a brilliant mirage
I fell for in full,
framed into focus
and forced into view.
Now: a back turned
and a book closed

mid chapter,
dialogue choked.
We are a story unwritten
or never quite conceived
or shelved for a rainy day
in Paradise.
And whatever weak lines
are written for me
are probably better off
remaining in the silence.

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More to come.



"We saw a spark within your eyes. Your face reflected in the light. We are all angels in the sky. We are all mirrors in disguise." The New Frontiers Mirrors