Heap

You say these words to me
like they're magic incantations
and I melt because I'm solid,
like ice.
I'm cold.
It's just the weather.
It's a reaction to the season.
It's the rainy misconception
and the waste of another reason.
It's all misunderstanding.
It's all in bad hand writing.
It's all a lie about love and loving.
Warm hands or eyes -
it makes no difference -
it all amounts to shit:
the substance which you fed me.
Broken promises spell trouble
so I guess I'm in a heap,
but I wish you'd still come find me;
even your lies sound pretty sweet.

************************************************

It's about dishonesty. Or loving.

Or maybe there's not much of a difference.







"I'm kickin' like a kid 'cause I can't get rid of it." Kevin Devine Trouble

Something Like Happiness

Coffee stains
and razor blades
and mismatched socks
and dirty mops,
a string of benign
and beautiful shots
that snap imagination
out of hibernation.
The smells are familiar,
like I once lived here,
but ran screaming
with fear.
A feckless foe
faces me,
stares me down,
asks too much of me.
To break
down
apart
up
off:
the thought
leaves me
numb.
And I'm already cold
from a tale so old:
a fairytale nightmare
in which I disappear.
A damsel in distress -
perhaps you know the rest -
with her dazzling prince
and a moment's glimpse
of something like happiness:
it feels so warm,
but only when you are,
like blankets from the dryer
or maybe hell's fire.
Still, your steps sound distant
and your voice is so faint
and I dream that you're nearer,
my reflection in a mirror,
so I could see you clearer.
But dreams vanish with the sun;
they mock me just for fun.
I'm writing you this story
of lonesome glory,
but my pen's in your hands:
you decide how it ends.


****************************************






"...I felt just about the closest to this stuff that is called happiness as I have ever struck." Woody Guthrie Bound For Glory

Snap

She speaks in shallow promises
and broken hearts:
she repeats what's whispered
in her ears.
She walks along
on her tightrope
as if there's no such thing
as absurd.
She brushes your cheek,
but you never feel it
like her heat
is your repellent.
When the sun shines,
she cries.
It should be dark
all the time.
The light
hurts her eyes,
but she denies
it's you that makes them sting.
So, she shuffles her feet
and bites her tongue.
She imagines a day
when you're not gone.
And when it rains,
she smiles and sings.
She wishes she had wings:
to you, herself she'd bring.
Like branches,
she sways
from side
to side
and you,
her wind,
made her snap,
so unkind.
It is she
who is your sport
for ignoring,
though she was born
inside your smile
this morning.

********************************************






"She brings her friends so we wont have to be alone. I fear I might lose my composure without warning. I am a child of fire. I am a lion. I have desires and I was born inside the sun this morning." Counting Crows Hanging Tree

Half Alive

Laying on my back,
half asleep
or maybe half dead,
thinking half dead
is all right:
it's half alive.
As sure as we're all alive,
we're all gonna die,
we're all gonna die
and that's just fine.
The fan is off
so it's too quiet to sleep
and you're too far away
so it's too cold to dream,
but closed eyelids
draw you nearer.
Fingertips
and eyelashes
and feelings
and looks
and I've already read this book,
but you managed to get me hooked.
Again,
a wrong turn
down a dangerous road,
but it's so tempestuous
and it tingles
and tastes
suspiciously
like you.

*************************************************

It's about doing shit you know you're better off not doing...but - then again - what the hell? Ya only live once.







"Would you say that the one of your dreams got in you and ripped out the seams? That's what I'd say. That's what I'd say." Heatmiser Half Right

"As the priest got up to speak, the assembly craved relief, but he himself had given up. So, instead, he offered them this bitter cup: 'You're gonna die. We're all gonna die, could be twenty years, could be tonight. And lately I have been wondering why we go to so much trouble to postpone the unavoidable and prolong the pain of being alive.'" Pedro The Lion Priests And Paramedics

"We're all gonna die. That's just life in time. The hallelujah, the by-and-by, we'll all fly away so high." All Get Out Wasting All My Breath