Clock

The wind stopped blowing,
got swept up in himself.
The ocean quit churning,
under waves she pulled herself.
My gut is burning,
acid engulfing myself.

The clock stopped counting,
quarter to one.
The sun quit burning,
not having fun.
My habits are laughing.
I told them they won.


*******************************************

^ I noticed a few nights ago that the batteries for my wall clock in my room died. I did nothing about it. ^

Nothing ever really changes. I still have a headache from Wednesday night. It won't be discussed. I never say anything when I talk anyway.



"He's in my ear, wants me to live in denial. Says you've gotta settle for something, though it might not be really living...anything is better than nothing." Elliott Smith New Monkey

Virginia

Ashes and oranges taint skin.
My cheeks burn and my lips quake.
I pray for the sharp sting of sin.
My gut turns and my head aches.

The quiet once brought such relief.
Now, echoing silence barks.
Consequence of lacking belief:
these branding and shameful marks.

It's in my head, just locked inside:
"You can't change! You know that's true!"
I cover my ears, try to hide.
But you can't run from what's you.

***************************************

^ Last poem of the 2006-2007 school year. ^

This poem isn't really about anything new. I wrote it to kill time in Comparative Politics and came across it today while I was studying for my CP final. I guess it's just about feeling shitty when you have every reason in the world to be happy.

The more I write poetry the more dissatisfied I am with the medium. Maybe that's because I suck at poetry, which is true, but I really have been enjoying writing fiction more. So, I guess you can look forward to more stories. I have started another short story, but it's only about a page long so far and I'm really not sure where I'm going with it yet. Need to let it simmer.

I'm feeling old. 21 isn't old, but finishing my third year of college is making me feel older than I think I should be feeling. I feel like I should have come to major conclusions about life a long time ago: job, love, etc. I haven't done a damn thing. I feel behind. Going to Bamboozle didn't help much...just made me miss high school, even though I have no real reason to miss high school (especially not my senior year). I have one year left to figure out what I want to do with my life...or, at least, to figure out what I want to do with my life for the next couple of years. No pressure. :/

So, summer is upon us. My air conditioning is broken again. Thankfully is hasn't gotten too hot yet. My mom's birthday is a couple of week's after Mother's Day, so my life for the next couple of weeks consists of planning for those occasions and trying not to let my mother drive me crazy in the meantime.

KD in nine days.
Brand New in sixteen days.
Manchester Orchestra in forty days.



"Kids today are getting old too fast. They can't wait to grow up so they can kiss some ass. They get nostalgic about the last ten years before the last ten years have passed..." Ben Folds Bastard