Hollow

It's that song from your past:
whispers softly and laughs,
knows your name and your face,
left you naked in that place.

But darkness leads to health,
at least, that's what you tell yourself
and sorry melodies can't hurt you now,
but you still can't listen somehow.

Not without regret,
as if you could forget
and you're about to lose the bet,
with cold steel your future is set.

Swear you won't touch it,
like you won't miss it a bit.
It's not fair and it's not true,
but it always gets the best of you.

Moved on, but left behind,
it's yourself you still can't find.
Mirror reflections deceive:
this isn't what's become of me.

Two years, about to crack
and the chemicals you lack
are forcing your limbs to shake
and it's a dive, a binge, you have to take.

Another step, another breath,
another daydream about death.
It's so much more than you can swallow,
but you're hollow, hollow, hollow.

It almost doesn't matter
and your heart beats pitter patter
while the fighting grows louder and louder
as mind poisons soul from inner to outer.

But you always stop just shy
and avoid another mistake, another lie.
You hurt, but know it's right
because, this ruin: it's only your life.

*********************************************

^ To fix a ruin 'cause no one else is gonna do it...it's only your life. ^


Parts of this have been floating around in my head for a while, but I didn't put them down on paper until last night when I listened to a record I hadn't listened to since 2005. It's a record that's really pretty, but that I just can't listen to anymore and I wish I could get over it. So, the poem was influenced by that album as well as one of the new Kevin Devine songs he's been playing live. This is the first poem I've written in a really long time that I don't totally hate, so I suppose that's something to be proud of.

Still working on the story, but...yeah...I need to be in a class room ignoring a professor in order to really write a good story so it's been slow going.

I'm getting over a cold and one of my damn wisdom teeth is making my whole mouth hurt. Booo. This weekend was refreshing, though. Can't wait for next weekend. <3





"You can't see that he loves, but he hates his life. 'Cause he hides it so well when he smiles and he knows that you'll never find out..." I Can Make A Mess Like Nobody's Business The Kindler Burns