Anything More

Heavy eyelids, heavy hearts,
heavy minds that make their mark
are mired and mishandled
like that box you labeled "fragile."
Smile big for all to see
when all you see is me,
but it's fishy and it's fake:
drives the best of me away.
Instability explains this mess
and so there's no need to confess
that how I act is how I feel
and I want you oh so real.
If I weren't falling apart at the seams
you wouldn't know what to make of me.
My eyelashes brush your cheek,
but my efforts are too meek.
You're so much bigger than I
so why should I even try?
I'm an ant of your floor
that you've stepped on before,
but I love feeling you breathe,
watching your chest heave:
like if you inhale me now
I'll be part of you somehow.
It's the words I can't articulate
that seal my sorry, sullen fate.
Take pity and I'm yours;
I don't want anything more.

********************************************

It's about trying to decide whether something's really worth the effort or if it's more beneficial to just remain a fly on the wall, just on the outskirts: stay put and lose nothing or dive in and hope for the best. It's about being stuck...but more by your own limits than the limits being place upon you by anyone else. It's about feeling like you could change and just not doing it...for one reason or another. It's about not believing.

I actually have no idea what prompted this. I found the first couple of lines saved in a note marked in September, but I don't remember why I began it or why I, apparently, abandoned it.






"This is the part of me I don't like..." Pablo Words For Free