Taut We Remain

If we're all in this together
then I'm no more dead than you.

I loved as best I could
from so many miles away.
And the distance between us, dear,
well that's just the price we pay
for honor
and sin
(and look at the mess we're in)
and the solutions discovered wherein
dissolve
like our bonds.
But taut we remain
still
despite the heavy rain
and the awkward pain.
Sunshine seeps through panes
and reminds us how clear
vision can be
in hindsight.
This might
be the eye of the storm
or the eyes staring at me
from that table across the bar.
You leave me guessing:
forever haunted,
forever hunted,
a forever of only one.
Life and death
equate in sleep
and sleepless nights
scare me to death.
Windows and doors
and wiley floorboards
sing cautious lullabies
of how my heart defies
reason.
Is there something to believe in?
Are my lung still breathing?
What's wrong with me, then?


************************************

I know is should say "Is there something in which to believe?," but "believe" doesn't rhyme as nicely with "reason," so deal with it.

"Ugh...liiiiiike, I don't know." Exactly. I don't know. This plagued me for a couple of weeks and I don't know if the outcome matters at all, if it was worth all the trouble. This is about things that won't die; it about resilience. But it's also about the strain of that resilience. Lots of things feel unstable and messy right now yet everything seems to be staying in place, for better or for worse.

I found this interesting:
Taut -
[–adjective, -er, -est.]
1. tightly drawn; tense; not slack.
2. emotionally or mentally strained or tense: taut nerves.
3. in good order or condition; tidy; neat.
[Courtesy of http://www.dictionary.com: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/taut]

...those seems like sort of an ironic mesh of meanings for this little word.






"The people you've been before that you don't want around anymore. They push and shove and won't bend to your will. I'll keep them still." Elliott Smith Between The Bars

"Peace, be still." Pedro The Lion Secret Of The Easy Yoke

"What's a bond if it dissolves in water?" Saves The Day My Sweet Fracture