Early Moments of Sleep

I thought I was sleeping, but in the exact moment, I couldn't be sure. I remembered setting my alarm and clicking the lamp off. Darkness. I felt my joints ease and my muscles relax. In those early moments of sleep, when the day is forgotten, your brain has its chance to infiltrate your thoughts with its true concerns. 

I knew, without looking, it was you. Even though I'd know never known the touch of your lips, I felt them resting gently on the back of my neck. Shallow breaths, as your lungs filled and emptied themselves. Your motionless fingers lay warm atop mine. 

You were there in a vivid reality that some part of me knew must be an illusion. I remained awake in order to feel your every sleepy movement. But as the sun rose, I felt you slowly dissolving into air and fog, a perfect apparition of my unconsciousness.  

"But I am awake," I dreamed myself saying. "I am awake" as my body grew colder and colder with the absence of yours.

A ray of sun through the curtains hit my right eye. I blinked to discover my eyes had been shut tightly. I sat up and rubbed my forehead from temple to temple, letting the creases smooth under my fingertips, trying to discern fact from fiction. 

Beside me, I swear, appeared a you-sized dent in my sheets.

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 "Beg for pride and I'll deny you. Fact or fiction? Fact or fiction? It's a mission to survive and learn to want you when I hate - when I hate - what's all inside..." Head Automatica Please Please Please (Young Hollywood)

"I've been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks." Nirvana Heart-Shaped Box